This is Part 3 of a six-part feature that will run through the duration of the competition. Look for the next position tomorrow!
What is a “mancrush”? Glad you asked. For the uninitiated, a mancrush is a product of “bromance”, when a man possesses a feeling for another man whereby he strongly desires to BE that man. He may not necessarily WANT said man, but when watching the other man play sports, he is moved in some fashion.
When watching hockey and the Canucks in particular, you will no doubt cheer for every member of the team to succeed(except that one guy you just can’t stand, even if he is wearing your team’s colours), but there’s always those few guys that make you just that little bit more excited when they make a nice play, dole out a nice hit, or say that exact right thing in an interview to make you feel like, “hey...that guy could be my bro.”
The criteria for a hockey player, you ask? Well, the player must look dashing(note: ‘dashing’ is different than ‘good-looking) when skating up the ice, which means the equipment choices, from a straight-cut visor to a flashy stick, are incredibly important. Second, he must have excellent skills on the puck. I love me a sniper. Third, he must be unafraid to mix it up when necessary. There won’t be any sissies on my mancrush team. To sum, physical looks are not the most important characteristic, but I’m not going to have the ginger twins’ chinstraps or Todd Bertuzzi’s tobacco-stained mouth ruining my list, no matter how great they’ve been for the squad over time.
Each day, I will cover the first and second All-Time Canucks Mancrush Teams, featuring players from each position over the years. On this fine Saturday, we continue with the defensemen, picking up where we left off with the first-team pair.
First Team All-Time Canucks Mancrush Defenseman
Harold Snepsts
Age: 57(Canuck for 12 years, 1974-1984, 1988-90)
Height: 6’3”
Weight: 210 lb.
Hometown: Edmonton, Alberta
A mancrush list involving the Canucks is simply not complete without Harold Snepsts’ mustache. Striking fear in both men and women alike, the mustache has taken on a life of its own in recent years, making even Dave Babych wonder what he grew his for.
Snepsts’ is the Canucks’ Canuck, someone who will be forever associated with the squad, and someone who gets mentioned any time a discussion of most memorable Canucks is brought up. A lot of the mancrushes on this list will make it based on sheer skill, their grace and elegance on the ice making many a man jealous, but Snepsts forces his way onto this list out of sheer will and determination, much in the same way he played the game of hockey.
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| Movember was named after Harold Snepsts. |
He played over 1000 NHL games despite battling injuries, and wore three different iterations of Canucks jerseys, spanning two decades. He’s a legend. He once was suspended for fighting Doug Risebrough UNDER THE STANDS at Pacific Coliseum. I’d love to see that happen in today’s NHL. I can’t imagine the taunt, “yeah, meet me under the stands after this,” would be taken too seriously by too many players. He has a punk song written about him by a band called the Dik Van Dykes. And the Dik Van Dykes were from Hamilton. ONTARIO. Steel Town. A hard-working suburb of Toronto. It was clear that Snepsts’ bruising style of play made people uncomfortable across the nation, and it was uncomfortable in the best way possible.
Any literature you read about Snepsts talks about his downright inability to play the game. When asked about his skating, coaches said “his running on ice is fantastic,” and he averaged just over 0.1 points-per-game while averaging over 2 minutes in penalties, spending the equivalent of 33.5 DAYS in the Sin Bin.
But he was and is loved. He mentored Trevor Linden in Linden’s rookie year in the league, no doubt telling the young man of the importance of being a mancrush for youngsters to look up to and grown men to idolize, and Linden didn’t quit doing that for over 20 years, many of which wearing the colors of the Canucks. I still fear that mustache.
First Team All-Time Canucks Mancrush Defenseman
Kevin Bieksa
Age: 30(Canuck for 6 years, 2005-Present)
Height: 6’1”
Weight: 200 lb.
Hometown: Grimsby, Ontario
It shouldn’t be too surprising that I have two bruising defensemen at the top of my mancrush lists, as really, they are supposed to provide defence. Protection for the team. Keep the puck out of the net, make opposition scared to play in their zone, and generally strike fear into anyone who crosses their path.
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| He can even read. WHAT A PLAYER. |
While Bieksa might not be as naturally frightening as Snepsts, he has his off-ice persona to back him up. Bieksa acts like I’d like to think most of us would want to act, as though he’s truly grateful to be in the NHL, and is enjoying every moment. Already possessing one of the best Twitter accounts in hockey only weeks into signing up, Bieksa is an affable guy, known for his sense of humor off the ice and his niceness around the general public. He also played a huge role in the life of Rick Rypien, and was a fixture during the team’s recovery from Rypien’s death. It’s clear that he is a very valuable member of the Canucks’ locker room and a fantastic teammate.
On the ice, however, Bieksa is able to flip the switch, possessing that “mean streak” my dad always told me I never had. I’M JUST NICE, OKAY? Anyway, Bieksa never shies away from a fight, or losing his clothing during it and despite his sometime lapses in concentration at the back(he’s been known to give the puck away on occasion), Bieksa is a ridiculously stable defender who makes even the most ultra-conservative of commentators question their masculinity.
He also steps his game up in the playoffs, averaging nearly a half-point a game in the post-season, scoring huge overtime winners and elevating his play to a point where his place on any list shouldn’t be questioned.
Honorable Mentions
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| Sami Salo Looks like a Martian. |
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| Mattias Ohlund Softer than a baby lamb. |
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| Dennis Kearns Possibly purchased hair at Value Village. |
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| Dave Babych Lost dedication to mustache post-career. |
Coming up: I name the first and second team left wingers, posted on Sunday! Have any suggestions for your ultimate Canucks mancrush? Leave them in the comments and they will be considered to crack the list!
Well done.........Cullen knows his stuff....can't wait for next post.
cullen you da man
Loved Harold. Love/hate Bieksa. You have to be in fist spot for replacement!
Dan
Ohlund and Salo partying with some very young girls who are very not their wives. Cullen wouldn't be a part of such debauchery.